Hun don't be like that. Sometimes we hurt others but it's all part of the learning process. Doesn't mean you should shut everyone out and not give other guys a chance. Keep your head up :)
awww i appreciate your intentions and i think you’re really sweet, whoever you are, but it would be in everyone’s best interest if they just listened to my warning. it’s complicated and no one deserves my bs. thanks though, anon <3
working movie nights shopping making drunken gummy bears and jello shots jager bombs spontaneously getting in jacuzzis with no clothes shots in jacuzzis yl parking lot faded kahhoo kahhoo nights first ever light show getting locked out passing all my classes signing up for summer school movie dates horton plaza views avengers kayaking bellmont park mission beach swangies babysitting all nighters flower fields shopping outlets wasting money spontaneous visits food going away partys music videos new apartment good news nail salons meeting new people dancing packing unpacking
i do these list things to make my life appear to be “”“”fun”“”“. or as if i have a “”“”life”“”“. but the truth is, these things are fun and all but i get so lazy -____-
1. the other night, i looked at my private blog and read all my old posts about you. i can’t be any happier with the way things worked out. i love how there are long gaps between the times i see you because when we finally do hang out, you’re still the exact same person i remember you to be. hopefully the people in our lives don’t ever get in the way because that would really make me sad. 2. i hate that i hate you so much but can’t do anything about it. i hate that i’m too lenient and giving because i really don’t think you deserve it. it just sucks because it’s not your fault, it’s mine. i’m working on cutting you out of my life. or at least for the time being. fingers crossed. 3. you probably don’t realize how much i worry about you. that’s because i will never admit it or try to show it. but i do. i wish i could be the person you learn from and set examples for you, but i’m like the most fucked up person in your life right now and i’m not making that impact i want. you’re smart though, so i’m hoping you’ll figure things out. 4. i blame you for my confusion. it isn’t normal for me to be having the thoughts i have. you make me re-think all those things i believed in and thought was right. now i don’t know what i want. i don’t even know why i’m so scared. i just wish you gave me a few hints as to how to be like because i can’t read your mind. 5. you probably think i’m such a bad friend and i don’t blame you at all. that was a really shitty move on my part. the thing is, we never had the same intentions and i didn’t want you or anyone else to get the wrong idea. i’m sad that skjdfdkdfngd, but i feel like one less kjdfskdfskdf would help. i promise i’ll make everything up to you.
76: What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? johnnie -__- this better not be you asking, you asshole lol. BUUUUUT, honestly, idk. he’s still my bffaeaeae so of course i’d support whatever/whoever makes him happy. things would be weird, and i’d be awkward but what can ya doooo. 80: Are you atheist? no.
1:Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? already answered. 17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? never! 19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? yes :) 42: Are you available? uh, yes. but no.
1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? because i don’t know what i want. 5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? working. 9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? lol, negative. 24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? mhmmm, there’s a few. 36: Do you have any summer plans yet? beach, theme parks, del mar fair, y’knoww fsu. idk ha. 37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? pretty much. 50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? ^ refer to question 1. 62: Who do you text the most? shoot, idk. i text too much.
honestly, i’ll let you know when i figure it out myself. there are times when i freaking love it because i have so much fun - meeting people, not having to worry, etc. but there are other times when i feel lonely as fuck and i just want that person i know will be there for me and i can do the same. and being single is still pretty new to me so i still don’t really know how to act.
i wrote a long post about this on my private tumblr.. maybe tomorrow i’ll take the password off and post it. maybe.
1. i’m so glad we’ve gotten closer and that i can tell you things now. even though you remind me of hjbfjsbdfjbsdf, and i don’t like jsdkfksdf, you’re still really cool. i just hope you don’t listen to the rumors you hear. and i also think i’m a bad influence on you. 2. i’m sorry for being so uninteresting. it’s probably because i’m not interested. you’re not as desirable as you make yourself seem. however, you’re pretty much perfect in every other category. that’s probably why i don’t even want to bother. 3. you’re different. i actually went out of my way for you once, and that even surprises me. we’re on the same freaking boat. it can’t be anymore perfectttttt. hopefully our plans go through with. i fail at planning though, so we’ll see. lowkey kilig. 4. those feelings came back for a while. it was really weird. i tried not to notice them, but what can ya do. i seriously am hoping for the best for the both of us, and for things to be mutual. just don’t assume the worse, okay? 5. lol, everytime i think about you, i can’t help but laugh. wtf was i thinking. you probably think i’m avoiding you now hah. ughhhhhhh i’d take it all back if i could, that’s too embarrassing.