this is usually the time i do all my overthinking. which is why i have sleepless nights, and the ugliest eye bags the next morning. because of my fucked up sleeping schedule and time by myself, i start realizing a lot of things. bad things.
“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing.”—Jim Rohn (via roscoe-)
so i guess my plans for summer school aren’t going to happen :( i’ll make things work though, so hopefully by then i can get everything together. i hate how i’m fully aware i’m not reaching my potential, because i know i can do better than this, but i’m still not doing anything about it. jfbjasdbfjsbdafaskldjf. i suck at balancing out things in my life. hopefully next semester turns out better than this one, and the one before. shooooot, i’m still surprised i passed eng100 my first try with rafiki. gah, this spring “”“”break”“”” isn’t even a break.
1. i wish you’d stop making things weird for me. i’m doing my best trying to make things mutual, but it’s not working. 2. i have high hopes for you, but you could’ve made a few better choices. it’s never too late! 3. i feel like things could’ve been different if you stuck around a while longer and just told me what you were thinking. 4. i’m soo so so0o0ooo happy for you. even happier than i am for myself. and that’s a whole lot! 5. i would’ve offered you a _ _ _ _, but i didn’t want you to assume i _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ since that’s all you would’ve _ _ _ _ _ the entire time. even though i really don’t, lol. sorry :/
“If you’re in a relationship when you leave high school, let her go, man. Seriously. If you don’t, you’re just gonna do it when one of you’s at Connecticut College and the other is at NYU. You should’ve learned this in biology. We’re not meant to settle down when we’re so young. Seriously, give your loved one one last kiss. If it’s meant to be, you’ll come back together with your own money in your checking account and a lot of more experience under your belt. Nothing’s more attractive than confidence. Why am I telling you this? Because it’s time to work. It’s time to figure out what you want to do. It’s time to hustle. You can’t hustle if you’re sneaking off every 2 hours to talk to your boo. I know, my advice sucks, right? It’s cool, you’ll get it. You’re young. You got your whole 20s ahead of you. Go your separate ways. Relationships only work when as an individual, you feel your life is up to par. When you feel like it’s all it can be without someone else to complement it.”—
1. you’re really lucky to have the kind of help you get. your life is fucking made. 2. if you were trying to get my attention by pulling that off, congratulations, you got it. 3. i never tell you anything about my life. i don’t understand why you want me to start now. 4. they say that some jokes are “half meant”. hope that goes for you. 5. instead of helping me help you, you’re just making things worse.